Sunday, 1 April 2018

The "Quick as a Shot" Method by Rensa Gaunt: How to Improve Fluency by Being Tipsy

It is with great pride that I, like many other language bloggers, reveal my own method for learning a foreign language, customised to the areas that I think are the most difficult for English native speakers. This package will set you up for linguistic confidence in any country that you choose!

The "Quick as a Shot" Method by Rensa Gaunt: How to Improve Fluency by Being Tipsy

My programme will introduce you to the fundamentals of any language in 5 easy steps:

1. Pronunciation
As everyone knows, the key to great pronunciation is feeling comfortable and breaking down the initial barrier of shyness. As studies have shown, the first unit (or "shot") will take you there:

Their conversations were recorded and their foreign language skills rated by native speakers, who didn’t know which participants had consumed alcohol. The researchers found that those who were slightly intoxicated had better pronunciation than their sober colleagues. (source: The Independent)

2. Conversational Fluency
Ever felt too hesitant to being able to consider your conversations truly fluent? The second shot will help you to overcome any residual apprehension or inhibition, and will help you to say whatever you want, when you want! Sources at the University of Maastricht have explained that "One possible mechanism could be the anxiety-reducing effect of alcohol. But more research is needed to test this", and we couldn't agree more. Cheers!

3. Cultural Understanding
Other cultures are weird, right? We at Quick as a Shot can guarantee that after your third drink, you will not only have a greater appreciation for other ways of life, but also those around you will become your close friends, like, really, you guys, it means so much to me that you are here, you know? Like, you guys are the best. Really.

4. Grammar
After your fourth shot, any hesitation to just say whatever grammatical endings come into your head will have dissipated into the warm, fuzzy glow that surrounds only the best foreign speakers. Thanks to the new found bond you will have created with your interlocutors, mere trifles such as adjectival agreements or the concept of agency or time will seem less important than just saying what you can, however you can say it, and isn't that really what language learning is all about?

5. Vocabulary
Those who have reached the final step of the programme will find that their vocabulary in their foreign language will be similar to that of their native language: that is, they won't remember many words, but, really, just being with you guys is the greatest; this is the only communication that really matters.

Side effects of blurred vision or physical instability pale in comparison to how much you just "get" the new language, and how you feel that your new friends really "understand" you. (Disclaimer: this understanding is limited to the emotional realm and in no way suggests that your speech is comprehensible to other humans)

Reserve your "Quick as a Shot" package through A Linguist Abroad today and get a free Babelfish (or "April Fish" if you will) with your delivery! We wish you the best in your foreign adventures!

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